Bad Hair Days, Extreme Zeal, and Everything Else String Theory Now Helps Me Explain

I’ve often wondered why my hair is so crazy. Now I know. It isn’t because I buy cheap shampoo or rarely look in the mirror to fix it. It is particle physics!  I saw this depiction of strings on a two-dimensional brane and thought…EUREKA! That’s my hair!

string-therory-hair

Strings on a 2-dimensional brane.

bad-hair-day

Strings on my brain.

I was also overcome with joy when I learned about supersymmetry. Although these connection particles have technically not been found, they are fabled to exist and I’ll take them, please!  Not only do they simplify the string theory equations by canceling out all kinds of variables, they take away inconsistencies like infinite values and imaginary energy levels.  This helps me quite a lot. When I start thinking I have infinite time and imaginary energy levels, I can just apply a little supersymmetry and….VOILA! Nap time.

And because string theory is the “theory of everything.” I now can pretty much explain…well…everything.

“Mom, why can’t you pick me up from work?” String theory, honey, sorry.

“Trish, why doesn’t your budget balance?” String theory.

“Where did my missing sweatshirt go?” Slipped into the eighth dimension. String theory. Oh well.

Physics is so useful. Who knew?

Definition of String Theory

A theory in physics that views subatomic particles as string-like objects floating in space-time rather than as point-like objects. Space-time in string theory can have up to nine dimensions of space, plus the dimension of time.

2 thoughts on “Bad Hair Days, Extreme Zeal, and Everything Else String Theory Now Helps Me Explain

  1. So this is why my hair is so crazy- it has 9 dimensions! And it’s time-space continuum is umparraleled in its curly capacity! So simply in its complexity- don’t you think?

    Like

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