Let’s face it. We eat fortune cookies for the fortune, not the cookie. And no matter who we are–fatalist, opportunist, or rationalist– we can’t wait to open that crispy treat and see what’s in store for us. They give us a split second giggle and a dose of hope. Except when they fail to deliver.
First, my cookie grievances.
- Fortune cookies should have fortunes in them. They are not called Saying Cookies or Advice Cookies. They are called Fortune Cookies.
- Fortunes should be, well…fortunate. Something that makes you walk away from your Kung Pao feeling Kung Powerful…or at least hopeful.
I’ve had an unfortunate string of fortunes. Let’s review some of my unfavorites.
So, my final appeal. Fortune cookie makers everywhere: Please give us fortunes. Life is hard and Chinese food is good. Our fortunes should be, too.